I was knitting crochet when ‘HE’ entered the house.By ‘HE’, I meant my husband who married me thirteen years ago.Our son is Kevin.Thank God we had only one child.
Since the day i got married, i felt a thorn piercing my heart whenever i see him and in my subconscious mind when i try to pull it, it starts to bleed incessantly.It’s a recurring dream that i dream every day.I punish myself for not saving her.
Huh!How will i let go of this dream?The lie, my husband told me.It still makes my life miserable.When i try to ignore it, Keerthana comes to haunt me almost always.
“Please!Leave me alone, Keerthana.It was my husband who cheated on you”I exclaimed.
“And yet you married him”Keerthana shouted at me.
“I didn’t know he loved you”I answered.
I can’t blame her.We were both cheated by one man.That one man who lied to me and married me.It feels like it happened yesterday.Not able to believe twelve years have passed after that dreadful incident.
“Sherry!Can you take my office bag and come to my room.I kept it on the sofa this time”. It’s my husband calling.By the way. Sherry is the short form for Sherine.My full name is Sherine Angel.
For me, it just feels like another day in my life where Keerthana occupies my mind every day.Why wouldn’t she?Her suicide came to us as quite a shock.To be truthful, it shook us and tore us apart.We didn’t speak to each other for about a month.
It happened the same twelve years ago, right after my son was born.I think Keerthana was a very sensitive woman.That’s why she couldn’t take it anymore and committed suicide. When Sagaya Raj married me, he told me about his girlfriend.
He said, he wanted to marry her.The reason for them not getting together was their respective parents as they were considered about their own religion.It was acceptable to me.But what he didn’t tell me was Keerthana begged him to marry her.As a noble son to his parents, he pushed her away.It was that easy for him.
What hurt was he could have told me before we got married.I wasn’t able to digest the fact my husband loved her first.I, therefore, became his SECOND LOVE. It was her parents who called us to speak to her two weeks before her death. She was moody all the time.We heard she spoke to none.We both convinced her to forget about her days spent with my husband and marry someone else in her own community.Deep somewhere in my heart, i expected she will nod .But she never did.She didn’t blink an eye.Let her parents cry.If they were concerned about her child’s health now,they should have approved of Raj and Keerthana’s relationship.
It was Raj who lied to me.He could have told me about her on our engagement day.I could have spoke to her or stopped my marriage.Who knew she would do something like that?I knew.I predicted it before in hand.Yet, i couldn’t stop it.How ironic?
The day he lied to me…………….did he think i would forgive him?
Yes, i would.